The Inside Out Secret to Happiness

Something More Book Club: Part One

Imagine if someone you really loved came to you with a problem.

They had an interview approaching for a job that would change everything.

Not only would it be a much higher salary but the position would be tapping into their greatest talents and passions.

There’d be no more sick-in-the-pit-of-their-stomach feeling on a Sunday night. This job would make them bounce out of bed in the morning.

But, understandably, your loved one is feeling the fear.

I’m terrified I’m going to mess up in the interview,‘ they tell you.

‘I’m not surprised,‘ you reply. ‘I mean, there’s no way you’re good enough for that position. And come to think of it, I don’t think you look right for it either. Aren’t all the people who do this kind of job super-skinny and really attractive – and way more experienced than you? And then there’s that weird thing you do when you get nervous; the way you get all tongue-tied and giggly. You’ll probably come across as someone who shouldn’t be allowed outside unaccompanied. And don’t get me started on that salary! I mean, who do you think you are, thinking you’re worth all that money? I think it’s time you get real.’

Now, hopefully the above dialogue had you squirming and thinking there’s no way I’d talk like that to a loved one!

That’s great.

But the bad news is, I’m willing to bet that at some point, if not regularly, you’ve spoken to yourself like that. If not about your career then about your love life – or lack of – or how you look / act / perform generally.

Back at the start of 2010 I came to an important realisation: I wasn’t truly happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I had moments of happiness, but they were always connected to something outside of me … career success, relationships, money, material possessions.

The trouble with attaching all of your happiness to things and people outside of yourself is that it can be taken away at any moment … if you lose the job, the money, the person.

Back in 2010 I wondered if it was possible to find a source of happiness from within myself; an anchor to ground me in a fast-paced and turbulent world. 

My book Something More … a Spiritual Misfit’s Search for Meaning is a result of that quest and one of the most fundamental lessons I learned on the seven year journey it took me on is that self love is the cornerstone to true and lasting joy.

If we don’t love ourselves, we’re constantly living in a state of fear because we don’t believe we’re worthy of good things happening.

If we berate ourselves like the dialogue above, we set ourselves up to fail.

But when we truly love ourselves from the inside out we become a beacon for love in the world.

People gravitate towards us; they want to be in our company because self love is infectious.

And self love is a gateway to gratitude, confidence and forgiveness.

It really does change everything.

As I say in the book…

The difference it made was instant and powerful, not just mentally but physically too. My posture was transformed. I walked taller. I held my head higher. I wasn’t scared of being seen or of being loving towards others. I no longer felt I had anything to lose. The love I was filling myself with was strengthening me from the inside out, leaving no room for old fears or insecurities.

In the video below I share a simple but powerful exercise from Something More which will help you start to become more self-loving.

I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.

Next week, in Part Two of the Something More Book Club I look at how my quest for true happiness completely transformed my career for the better. So, if you’re feeling a little jaded about your work life, subscribe to this blog to make sure you don’t miss it.


Order your copy of Something More … a Spiritual Misfit’s Search for Meaning here.



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