Notes on Not Giving Up
Every so often our life is rudely interrupted.
By a shock diagnosis…
An unexpected redundancy…
A brutal break-up…
The death of a loved one…
These landmines along life’s path have the power to destroy our happiness, equilibrium, even our sanity.
I hit a landmine recently and here are some notes I wrote in the depths of despair to try and cheer myself up. They helped me. I hope they help you…
This too shall pass
There’s a reason why this phrase has been so widely quoted ever since its first use in the early nineteenth century – it’s true. Everything passes. Nothing stays the same. Even the very worst of times. It just feels as if they’ll never end. But they will and do. Hold on tightly to that thought.
These are the uphill steps to happiness
Remind yourself that you’re still on the path to happiness – it’s just that you’ve hit an uphill stretch (and quite possibly a stormy one too). The trick is to keep walking. Eventually you’ll get to the top and the view from up there will be breath-taking.
Count your blessings every day
Even on the worst of days – especially on the worst of days – remember to take time to be grateful. Each night, write a list of the things you’ve been grateful for that day. Even if you have to do this to the accompanying sound of a barrel being scraped, scrape away. You’ll find something.
Seek out pockets of joy
Joy is always available – it’s just that sometimes you have to seek it out. And sometimes it can be very well hidden. Seek out pockets of joy amongst the sadness and stress. They are there.
Ask for help
Help wants to be given. Don’t let pride or some insane desire to be super-human get in the way. You’re not super-human, you’re all-too-human – we all are – and sometimes we need help. There are loads of people out there who love to be of service – let them help you now.
Seek comfort in hindsight
Remind yourself of other dark times you’ve been through – and got through. You can do this. Ask yourself what helped you back then. Apply the wisdom of hindsight to your current situation.
Visualise a happy future
Visualise it so hard you almost believe it’s happened already. Carve out time to daydream. Write down your dreams. Create a dream board. Compose a list of all the cool things you’re going to do once the storm has passed.
When self-pity strikes ask ‘Who can I help?’
It’s all too easy to sink into a pit of self-pity when the going gets tough. But all that does is make you feel worse. A great way to snap yourself out of a pity party is to help someone else. Perform a random act of kindness. Do something nice for a friend. Shift the emphasis from you for a while.
Be kind to yourself
Don’t beat yourself up, build yourself up. Buy yourself treats. Don’t burn yourself out. Prioritise. Focus solely on what really matters – like getting through the day. Put non-essentials on the back-burner. You can come back to them when things are better and you are stronger.
Immerse yourself in nature
It you’re able to, get out into nature, whatever the weather. When I was at my lowest ebb recently I went for a hike in gale force wind and driving rain. It felt great battling against the elements, symbolic of my struggle somehow, and the wind blowing my doubts and fear free. There’s a wisdom to be found in nature. Tap into it. Tell your problems to a tree.
Hold on to hope
Even when it seems like there’s none to be found. Hold on to the hope of better, brighter days. I’ve found mine – and you will too. Sometimes faith is all we have left, but faith is a powerful thing. I’ve known it work miracles…