It had not been a good morning.

Two unexpected bills had arrived, which started a domino effect of fear thoughts in my mind.

It’s a domino effect that I have periodically – and I’m guessing most freelancers / self employed people do.

It starts with a fairly run of the mill concern and ends up in visions of living in abject poverty. A friend of mine has got this thought spiral down to such a tee that she pictures herself ending up living in a specific disabled toilet.

Anyway, I decided to take myself out for a walk, to see if I could shake off my pesky thoughts and as I was walking past one of my favourite old churches, I felt the urge to step inside for a bit.

I’m not a member of any religion but I love going into churches when there’s no-one else around and soaking in the stillness.

As I sat there I thought about my fears and then I heard a voice inside my mind saying, ‘You need to take me with you.‘

I don’t believe in God in the traditional old-man-with-white-beard-on-a-cloud way, but I do believe in the existence of Something More and I believe that Something More is Love (with a capital L).

I think I was being reminded that, although we all have access to this Love at any given moment, we need to invite it in. And when we become mired in fear thoughts or stress it’s like hefting up a big old barrier to it.

I carried on with my walk with those words still ringing in my ears. ‘You need to take me with you.’

I pictured Love walking alongside me and I pictured myself reaching out my open hand in greeting…

 

Something More

My book, Something More …  a Spiritual Misfit’s Search for Meaning is almost here!

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