“My life had curled up into the frightening mark of a question.” Sue Monk Kidd

Once upon a time, not so long ago, my life, like the beautiful quote above from Sue Monk Kidd, had curled up into the frightening mark of a question.

A series of unfortunate and traumatic events culminated in bringing me to my knees.

For the first time in my life I thought I’d lost the irrepressible spirit that had seen me through so much before.

My faith disappeared and I began questioning everything.

My heart felt broken as I experienced wave after wave of grief.

What I didn’t realise then was that my heart wasn’t breaking, it was contracting.

And just as the uterus contracts before birth, my heart was contracting in preparation for a new way of being.

As this realisation dawned on me I stopped fighting the waves of grief and let them wash through me.

Crying, crying, crying enough tears to create a sea.

I sought the help of someone qualified to guide me through processing my traumatic memories.

And in doing so, I was gifted sun-bright moments of clarity, as the clouds of grief parted and finally, I was able to see my pathway home.

If you feel as if your life has curled into the frightening mark of a question here’s the wisdom I found in that dark place … don’t be afraid of the question; use it as an opportunity for excavation.

Dig out the sources of your sorrow. Hold them up to the light of love and ask: ‘Is this fear / belief / judgement of mine really true?’

This is hard work. REAL work. So don’t be afraid to seek the guidance of a therapist or a loving friend.

Sometimes we need another to hold our hand as we find our way home.

But when you seek and find that hand the most magical thing can happen.

Your heart stops contracting and begins expanding, giving birth to a new way of being; a new way of loving, so much deeper and higher and wider than before.

And your life stretches out of a question and rises into a joyful mark of exclamation.